I don't usually publish my posts anymore, but due to prompting from several unnamed friends, I have decided to re-publish a charming little article I found once upon a time. I assure you I have the writer's full permission. I also assure you that I do not look upon February 14th in this way whatsoever. It is, in my opinion, a sweet holiday where flowers go to the forefront of peoples' minds, which can only be a plus. Enjoy.
The Modern Cynic's Guide To:
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
When you ask someone what they do to celebrate this romantic day, there is a spectrum of answers in varying degrees of joy or bitterness or pretended indifference. Responses go from the ecstatic love of a girl on a date to the icy cynic who holes up in the basement and spits on the color pink.
Today, let's get to the bottom of the mystery. What attracts us about Valentine's Day? What repels us? Are we really oblivious to its charms and grievances?
Traditionally, the Latin name "Valentine" means "strong". How did this become a love fest? Legend has it that the feast of St. Valentine landed on February 14th, the same day that Roman virgins placed their names in an urn for young single men to draw out.
A-ha! So speed dating is an acceptable way to spend Single's Awareness Day!
Spend the day however you wish, of course, as aware of your singleness as you like. But as to the day itself, what are its perks?
Girls like pink. They like flowers and candy and shiny, cheap boxes and diamond rings and French restaurants and romance. To have a day devoted to these things is cotton-candy heavenly!
Bad metaphor.
But girls want someone to spoil them, and even if the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, guys usually want an excuse to pamper. What better time than a day devoted to romantic love?
But the consequences? Consumerism. Hype. Expectancy. And what if (scream the masses) I have no significant other? What about me? Where's my love? Do I have to spend this love fest with naught but my onesie and some lonely ice cream?
Understandable bitterness: the message of love and a need for romance on this day seeps through our bones and reminds us how alone we are. Ergo the hatred, or the supposed nonchalance.
Can we ignore it? Is it possible to not think of what we have - or so conspicuously lack - on this fluffy pink day of chocolaty lace?
Due to those very attributes that make it such an undesirable "holiday", we cannot. And that is why we lap it up like dogs; because nothing says "feel sorry for me" in modern America like celebrating alone. And we just love giving ourselves a pity party at every opportunity. We love snooping into everyone else's love life. And we love another reason to spend that dough and get fat. God bless the USA.
-By Mamie Peterson
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